ACTION RESEARCH ON TEACHERS EMOTIONS : Necessity-tis,I can’t stand it-itis and awfulizing

22.11.15

Necessity-tis,I can’t stand it-itis and awfulizing

Albert Ellis used to play this joke to his patients: "You are having an "awfulizing attack!"

What is "Awfulizing"?. Looking at things in a negative waty. Some types of this error are:

Thinking that you cannot tolerate an unpleasant emotion or that you will go crazy or die if you experience one.
Thinking that a problem is more severe that it is; exaggerating how bad something is;
Thinkin that only bad things will certainly happen;
Overlooking or ignoring the positive, advantages, benefits, or good points when you evaluate something (i.e. considering only the negatives, disadvantages, costs, detriments, or bad points.

Once awfulizing (terribilitis in spanish) has catched our thinking, it spreads like a virus even the most trivial aspects of our life, and we end up regarding any little annoyance as something terrible when it does not correspond to what we want. We identify the fulfillment of our desire as the source of happiness and failure as a great tragedy that prevent us from being happy for the rest of our lives.

From "GREAT" to "HORRIBLE" where can you situate your experience? Can you think about things that are really "very bad" and "horrible"? After doing that, are you able to say yourself: "the experience may be "bad" and need to find solutions but it is not neither "very bad" nor "horrible" ?

Instead of demanding yourself extreme "necessities", can you talk to yourself and say " I would rather..." , "I would like to..."?

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Irrational beliefs according to Ellis:

Here are irrational beliefs that Ellis described:

1) The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community

2) The idea that one should be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving in all possible respects if one is to consider oneself worthwhile.

3) The idea that certain people are bad, wicked, or villainous and that they should be severely blamed and punished for their villainy.

4) The idea that it is awful and catastrophic when things are not the way one would very much like them to be.

5) The idea that human unhappiness is externally caused and that people have little or no ability to control their sorrows and disturbances.

6) The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome one should be terribly concerned about it and should keep dwelling on the possibility of its occurring.

7) The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face certain life difficulties and self-responsabilities.

8) The idea that one should be dependent on others and needs someone stronger than oneself on whom to rely.

9) The idea that one’s past history is an all-importan determiner of one’s present behaviour and that because something once strongly affected one’s life, it should indefinitely have a similar effect.

10) The idea that one should become quite upset over other people’s problems and disturbances.

11) The idea that there is invariably a right, precise, and perfect solution to human problems and that is catastrophic if this perfect solution is not found.

12)The idea that you can give people (including yourself) a global rating as human and that their general worth depends upon the goodness of their performances.

OBJECTIVES GUIDE

WEEK 1 (MARGA'S first case)

When making mistakes, accept that making mistakes it is a normal thing among human beings.
In the same way, understand that people could make mistakes without failing as a person. Change dogmatics preferences into wishes or rational preferences. "I would prefer or I would have prefered but......."
Instead of feeling ashamed when I lose my temper, learn from the experience and find alternative solutions. For instance, if a student demands something out of time, in a bad moment or improperly way, I can put off or turn aside the exigency by explaining to student it will left it for a better moment (and fulfill the promise or not....)
Accept that perfection is not possible, and understand that what I do and get does not define me as a person, and even less that has nothing to do with my value as a person.

WEEK 2 (Naia's first case)

To value my positive sides
Try to analyse the situation better and get clear evidences and proves
Get rid of filtering while thinking
Stop over-generalizing
Not to try to hard to be loved, instead, work on being respected
Think of mistakes as challenges

WEEK 3 (Marga's second case)

Distinguish what I can control, and what it is out of my control
Try to flow and enjoy the experience of being a teacher without expecting to change the mind of anybody.
Put the responsibility of everyone´s outcomes in each person´s efforts, without sending to myself "shoulds", "musts", or unrealistic impositions.
Bear other people´s tantrums without feeling blame. Turn down other people´s awfulizings and I-cant-stand-itis.
Accept that perfection is not possible, and understand that what I do and get does not define me as a person, and even less that has nothing to do with my value as a person. Beside of this, instead of breaking learn how to be flexible.

WEEK 4 (Naia's second case)

To difference every time i get hurt if is me telling myself or is someone else
To leave the past in the past and live the present
To build my confidence and believe more in myself
To be aware of our emotions when interpreting the reality
Try to be able to difference children's personal situations at work

ACTION RESEARCH ON TEACHERS EMOTIONS

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22.11.15

Necessity-tis,I can’t stand it-itis and awfulizing

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